On October 17, we entered the jungle.

Eight of us from all over the Americas, with ages ranging from 23 to 66, went into the Amazon jungle of Peru for 10 days to slow down, heal, reflect, connect with nature, and surrender to the spirits of the plants, the jungle, and the medicine.

We were to stay there until October 29, with no internet, no stimulation, and nothing to do other than sit with ourselves and ayahuasca for 10 days. We ate only the plainest of foods. Rice, plantains, potatoes, oatmeal, and maybe a piece of chicken or a carrot if we were lucky. The “dieta” consisted of no salt, no fat, no sugar, and no flavor of any kind, intending to make us increasingly sensitive to the nature around us, our nature, and the medicines we were inviting into our systems.

In addition to ayahuasca, I was drinking a liter of “bobinsana” every day, a flower from the Amazon known for its heart healing, emotional support, and spiritual properties. The spirit of bobinsana is also known to enhance dreaming and lucid dreaming. I experienced this with a few life-altering dreams that felt like God was speaking to me directly.

We only bathed and cleaned ourselves with plants. Soap, deodorant, and toothpaste were all forbidden. By day 10, we all smelled like plants and nature. But in a way, it was beautiful to experience what our true smell as human beings is like without artificial perfumes and colognes we so often use in ordinary life.

The Magic of the In-Between Days

Ayahuasca was profound. She took me to both the depths of hell and the Kingdom of Heaven. But it was during the days outside of the ceremonies that I began to understand just how magical this world we call “reality” really is.

Before I dive into the five ceremonies, I’m going to explain what happened outside of them. This is when the nature of this letter will shift from practical to magical and from rational to nearly unbelievable, so buckle up.

The first few days alone with nothing to do in the jungle, I was noticeably frustrated and angry. I repeatedly thought to myself, “I could be at home or in Austin at a cafe, going to the gym, working on my business, serving others, and pursuing my purpose. But here I am, sitting in the middle of the fucking jungle. Why the fuck am I here.”

I later saw I needed to work through the surface-level discomfort the ego experiences when it feels useless (aka sitting in the jungle with nothing to do) before I could unlock a deeper level of oneness with nature, beauty, love, and God.

Around day 4, things began to shift. I went down to my typical river spot, and a group of 10-15 dark butterflies were flying chaotically above the rock I usually sat at in the middle of the river. Intuitively, I held out my hand towards them without thinking anything at all. Then, miraculously, all of the butterflies sat down on the rock.

“What the f*ck?” I thought to myself. I was almost certain I must have been hallucinating, or the timing must have been a strange coincidence. But there was a glimmer of curiosity in me, wondering if there was something more magical going on here.

I waded down the river about 100 meters. There, I found another group of 10-15 butterflies again flying around chaotically above the shore. Now, I wanted to test the previous coincidence. I held out my hand, stilled my mind, and about 10 seconds later, all the butterflies sat down on the shore.

My mind was starting to open. Or it was starting to break. Probably a little bit of both. Maybe this wasn’t a coincidence. Maybe there was something much deeper going on here I was just starting to glimpse. This moment planted the seed of magical interactions with nature that happened during the rest of the retreat.

On day 5, colorful, beautiful butterflies began to join the dark ones from the day prior. They began to sit on the porch of my house and circle around me. A few would come closer, and one sat on my foot for a few seconds.

As my frequency was elevating to that of life and beauty, the frequencies of love and beauty were gravitating towards me in the form of butterflies.

I moved from skepticism to knowingness when I went down to the river later that day, and 50 colorful and dark butterflies were all waiting at my river spot. I was no longer imagining things. This was more real than real.

In books like Autobiography of a Yogi, I read that certain humans would radiate at such a high frequency that animals would come to them in the forest, but I never thought this could be true for me. But by the end of the retreat, each attendee had a tribe of butterflies outside of their houses and by their river spots. These abilities are within all of us. It is our nature to be One with Nature. The illusion is that we are separate. This is the “fall from God” described in Genesis.

Darkness & Light

On day 8, I began to notice that as I began to embody more light, more darkness began to appear around me. More lizards tried to get into my house. More mosquitos tried to steal my blood. Poisonous frogs appeared around the perimeter of my land. One time, I saw a green frog staring at me, and instinctually, I had the urge to pee, and marked my territory. This blew my mind. I was getting so clear and attuned to my Nature that primal instincts were coming out of the depths of my being

The darkness peaked on day 9, when a 4-foot-long iguana (dragon) appeared in my backyard, just staring at me. I was terrified. It was at this time I also began to hear footsteps in all four directions around my house. I kept shining a light to see if someone was there. But no visible human appeared. I was scared this was a dark energy or a dark spirit, similar to the iguana and lizards, trying to steal my light.

Guardian Angels & Spirit Animals

After the iguana appeared in my backyard, I intuively decided to open a book that was downloaded on my phone called “The Golden Future: What to Expect and How to Reach the Fifth Dimension” by Diana Cooper. On page 1, she states:

“ Your guardian angel (...) has been with you throughout your soul journey. This is the being, usually invisible to you, who encourages you, protects you, tries to point out the right path and arranges for you to meet the people you need to connect with in order to fulfill your destiny. There are also many other angles and archangels who are with you the instant you need them. Remember to ask for help, for they cannot assist you unless you ask, as it would contravene your free will.”

At this point, I’d been frequently communicating with the animals and the forest for a few days, so I was open to all ideas beyond my rational mind. I asked the entity that had been walking around my house if it was my guardian angel.

A single acorn fell on my roof. I was stunned. I was slightly in awe, but still scared and uncertain. I continued to talk with this entity, asking questions that were answered in the form of an acorn falling, or a few in a row, or a frog laughing, or a bird singing.

I cannot remember the specifics of the conversation. I’m not sure what I asked or what was answered. I was not in my logical mind. But I did reach a level of understanding and knowingness that I do have a guardian angel and also a spirit animal. This spirit animal is some type of bird who would flap in my ear if I asked if he was there. I intuit that it is a falcon or eagle, but I am not 100% sure yet.

This all happened while I was completely sober. In a way, the magic that occurred outside of the ayahuasca ceremonies was just as profound and mystical as what I experienced within the ceremonies. I realized it was only when I got very clear and quiet, in the absence of screens, technology, social media, and stimulation, that I became sensitive enough to communicate with nature and perceive angels and spirit animals from different realms.

Magic is Within You

These abilities are within all of us. We all have angels, guardian angels, and spirit animals looking over us. At our core, we are spiritual beings who chose to incarnate into human bodies in the 3D realm of earth so we could awaken to our true Nature, complete our soul’s mission, shed negative karma, and escape the cycle of death and rebirth so that we can become pure spirit again, and have no need for a physical body.

Most of us are just so distracted, so stimulated, so stressed, and so disconnected from our Nature to ever realize it, and so our spirits come back to earth in physical form again and again until we wake up and remember Who we Are, Spiritual Beings incarnating into physical form to complete the soul’s task of transmuting matter into spirit, and ascending permanently into the higher realms.

I told you this letter would move from practical to mystical. If this is too much, I understand. This is nothing I would have ever imagined reading or writing either. If you’re still with me, let’s continue with what I experienced during the five ceremonies.

The 5 Ceremonies

If I took you through each moment of each journey, this would be a 100-page book. Also, many of the nuances and details of the journeys are sacred to my mind, heart, and soul, and so I am going to hold them close to me for now.

Instead, I will give you a high-level overview of each journey and dive deeper into lessons I learned about life, God, humanity, myself, and the universe.

The 1st ceremony

The first night was relatively mild, despite drinking three cups of the medicine. I felt a bit of fear going in, but also curiosity and an eagerness to learn. During the first hour of the journey, nothing came through, but I did get one important insight and download: that I wasn’t here for more mental downloads. I was here to tap into the heart and spirit.

I began to tap into these energies throughout the rest of the first journey. I felt a lot of anger, strength, power, grit, tenacity, and warrior energy. I had the urge to get up and start doing squats and pushups. I realized my warrior-like discipline had atrophied this summer while traveling Thailand, and I wanted to get it back. I felt I was supposed to get into some type of martial art or physical discipline once I emerged from the jungle.

Other than this insight, I stayed very much on the surface. Everyone else had a mild journey as well. It was almost as if She (Mother Ayahuasca) was just getting to know us, finding out who we were and what we needed, and preparing us for what was to come.

The 2nd ceremony

Ceremony two was the complete opposite. I came hot and fiery, with a “let’s fucking go” energy fueled by the warrior spirit I tapped into the first night. It was almost as if something in my soul knew I was going to have to battle through this one. That something was right.

Night two was by far the hardest night of my life. It was the first time I truly felt I was going to die. I grappled with death for six straight hours. In the DMT realm, where time and space are contorted, it felt like six lifetimes. For much of the journey, I was certain I wasn’t getting out of the jungle and no one would ever hear from me again. All I wanted to do was hug my mom, my sister, my dad, and my friends.

The reason I was grappling with death, to keep it concise, is that I believed I was in a cult. My nervous system was completely maxed out in fear, oscillating between fighting, fleeing, and freezing. I was on the brink of what felt like death the entire time. This night revealed to me patterns of fear, oppression, helplessness, and vulnerability that had been hidden deep in my subconscious, not only in this lifetime, but in many past lives.

Going to the depths of hell during ceremony two also came with glimpsing the heights of heaven. I saw the possibilities of who I would become if I made it out of the jungle in a way I’d never imagined. I felt a deeper level of love and gratitude for my family, friends, and America than ever before. I felt absolute bliss for simply being alive. After I realized I was safe, taking a breath of fresh air and drinking water felt like inhaling the presence of God and drinking from the streams of heaven. I never felt what a blessing it was to be alive until I came face to face with death. It was as if ayahuasca simulated a near-death experience for me so that I could feel the blessing and miracle it was to be alive.

During and immediately after ceremony two, I was convinced I would never touch a psychedelic, especially ayahuasca, ever again. I wanted to leave the retreat. But this revealed another pattern to me.

I had a habit of quitting when things got hard and choosing an easier path. I quit college football when things weren’t going my way. I left college because writing online and living as a digital nomad was easier than finishing my degree or working a job. I quit on my high school relationship, the one time I felt truly in love, when things got difficult.

I saw what Mother Ayahuasca was showing me. She was showing me what it was like to choose courage, choose faith, and choose to finish what I started. I was learning how to trust and persist despite my inner child screaming at me never to go back. And so, 36 hours after I experienced the House of Hades, I returned for the third ceremony and drank again.

The 3rd ceremony

The middle ceremony was a turning point for me. It was a right of passage into wisdom and understanding. Choosing to drink again was me leaving behind fear, boyhood, and comfort and stepping into courage, faith, and manhood.

I began to understand things on a deeper level. I felt connected to my Spirit for the first time. I saw and felt anxiety, depression, lethargy, lust, greed, desire, envy, pride, the body’s decay, and death, but I was able to work through them, transmute the energy up to my heart, open it, and strengthen my spirit. Each time I wanted to lie down, bend over, or curl up into a ball but instead chose to sit up straight with my shoulders back, I felt my Spirit grow stronger. This was the work. This was why I was here.

I also began understanding and playing with more metaphysical, magical things. I felt my third eye open. I didn’t know what was happening at first, but the Shahman and I began communicating telepathically through the third eye in the fourth dimension. I also began to understand how, in addition to the medicine putting us into an altered state of consciousness, the Shahman also had the power to control how long the trance lasted through spells (music and song) and controlling the energy of the space. This night was the first time I realized Harry Potter was real the entire time, and most of us, just like Muggles, were oblivious to the magic and wizardry that lay dormant within all of us.

The 4th ceremony

This night was the most profound of all. It was as mystical as the third night and nearly as challenging as the second.

I understood past lives, reincarnation, and how the human Spirit moves through each generation. I saw how humanity was killing itself and the earth and that if we do not collectively WAKE UP, humanity will go extinct. I understood how the generous spirits of plants, the forest, ayahuasca, and the earth are all trying to save us and wake us up to our true nature as being ONE with nature and not separate from it. And I saw clearly my soul’s mission in this lifetime is to awaken humanity to its true nature.

The realization in the last sentence felt like a 100,000-pound burden. The weight of the task and the clarity with which I saw why I incarnated into this lifetime felt so, so heavy.

The Spirit inside me saw clearly what my destiny was, but the little boy in me wanted to lay down, sleep, and curl up in one of the older women’s laps around me. I was grappling with this the entire time.

That night, I didn’t come down from the 4D world. I stayed up until 5 AM having the most profound conversations with my friends Taylin and Dale. Even though they had come back down to earth, I was still in an altered reality where all that existed was the eternal now and that time and space were looping paradoxes. I also knew in the depths of my soul that a future where humanity collectively awakened was not only possible but inevitable.

I slept for 2 hours. I was still in DMT land 12 hours later. But I didn’t want to come back down yet. I wanted to soak into the realizations and feelings of being one with reality and a piece of nature experiencing itself. I knew I would be returning to normal life soon enough, and I wanted to bring as many of these realizations with me as I could.

Finally, the 5th ceremony.

This was the most peculiar. It was a 6 AM ceremony, so we all entered the altered state of consciousness in broad daylight.

I experienced my deepest insecurities being out in the daylight for everyone to see. I was reminded that my deepest insecurities were sexual, and there was nowhere to hide. It was so f*cking uncomfortable. But again, this was the work. Despite the insecurities and anxieties, all I could do was attempt to sink into the present moment, love the experience, remember God was with me, and do the work.

I’m grateful ayahuasca showed me this insecurity so clearly. I know now it is my number one ticket to freedom and liberation. Sexual insecurity and trauma are things I haven’t talked about ever outside of a few conversations with close friends. Now, speaking about and working through this insecurity is revealing itself as a big part of my gift to the world. I just spoke about this live on a podcast with Tej Dosa and Danny Miranda, and it was so, so uncomfortable. But this is what ayahuasca was preparing me for. To find the courage to own it, love it share it, and eventually, be free of it.

This was also a much more interactive journey than the rest. The Shaham’s 13-year-old son was hanging out there, and I felt a deep sense of peace, family, and tribal belonging with him there. I shared a solo dance for a few minutes, and everyone played music and cheered me on. That was one of the most magical moments of my life, and it reminded me that despite the suffering that is the human experience, moments of beauty, joy, and love make it all worth it.

As the ceremony ended, something very magical happened. Right as the Shahman closed the ceremony, the forest gifted us a quick 30-second rain shower that only seemed to occur over and around the maloca.

All the birds and animals began singing much louder as this happened, as if the forest and animals were thanking us for being there, cheering for us, and wishing us farewell on our journeys. If there was any part of me that was still skeptical about magic, it was gone after that moment.

A New Paradigm

As we walked out of the maloca for the final time, I felt initiated into a new paradigm.

I was stepping into an alternate reality where everything was clear. I had the insight that there was never any “medicine” at all, and my new perspective on reality was always there. My vision was just too clouded to see. Now that I saw, I couldn’t ever go back.

I’d fully stepped through the door from boyhood to manhood, from innocence to understanding, and there was no going back through that door. There was no unseeing what I’d seen. I knew what needed to be done going forward.

As we walked through the jungle to eat our lunch and break our “dieta,” I looked up at the sky, thanked God for this beautiful earth, this beautiful medicine, and this beautiful experience, and walked forward, knowing the journey had just begun.

Thank You For Reading

When I started this blog, I was agnostic, maybe atheist. I didn’t think about God at all. God for me was football, status, and success. This has all wildly shifted.

If you’ve been reading this blog from the start two years ago, I can imagine the confusion! I was just an ex-football player writing about self-improvement, mindset, and health. Now, I’m writing about angels, magic, and God. Believe me, it’s even more wild to me than it is to you. I’m witnessing it all unfold before my eyes.

What started as a vehicle to share my learnings became a way to make money and escape the 9-5 has morphed into a comically paradoxical balance between creating offers and, helping people build conscious businesses, and sharing the most metaphysical, mystical stories I am experiencing. But I am so grateful I get to sit at the intersection of practical and mystical, with one foot in the 3D material world and another in the 4D spiritual one.

The next letter will take us deeper into mystical, magical, metaphysical reality if you believe that’s possible. I will share broader themes and lessons I learned about humanity, the collective consciousness, myself, life, nature, the nature of reality, and God that resulted from this time in the jungle. It will be coming out in a few days.

Until then…

Have a great weekend!

And remember you are divinely protected, even if you can’t see it ((:

I love you,

Jack

jackmoses.co