If you want to read the entire story of my adventures this summer - clink this link to read edition #5.

A Journey To The South

After spending 2 months in Pai, the small hippie town in northern Thailand, I embarked on an adventure to the southern islands of Thailand.

People say that because of the rock and geographical structure of the islands and their position on the globe, the energy of the place amplifies emotional experiences and sexual energy. Is this folklore pushed by hippie travelers as an excuse for their excessive partying, extremely open sexuality, and free spirits? Or does the island really bring out a deeper level of human emotionality in everyone who visits? I can’t be sure. It may be a little of both. All I can verify is my personal experience. And from my experience, I did seem to have more fluid swings in mood, an enhanced desire to dance and party, and increased activity in my root chakra.

The scene in the southern islands of Thailand, specifically Koh Phangan, is different than any place I’ve seen in the world. There are parties unlike anything I’d ever seen all over the island. There are “full moon” and “half moon” parties every month and different parties on the beach or in the jungle every night of the week. I went to many of these. I probably went to eight parties in the 14 days I was there.

The “full moon party” was incredible. As I arrived, I was in awe at the sheer amount of human bodies congregated in one place. On a beach that spanned about a mile, there was a different stage every 100 meters, each playing a different type of music, and at least 10,000-20,000 people. I imagined what it would look like for an alien civilization to look down upon this scene and try to figure out what was going on. It looked like a massive ant colony of humans vibrating to different frequencies and entering altered states of consciousness (via drugs and alcohol). And here I was, a single speck in the sea of masses.

I had two comical realizations in the midst of this scene. One was that I could literally do whatever I wanted, dance however I wanted, and speak to anyone I wanted (or no one). No one would know, care, or remember who I was. That was very freeing. Here I was across the globe, by myself, surrounded by 10,000 people I’d never seen again. The only person that could judge me or care about what I was doing was me. As I’d gotten to the point of fully loving myself, accepting myself, and not taking myself too seriously, I experienced a profound level of freedom and self-expression unlike anything I’d ever felt. I danced at that party for hours.

The second realization was that my problems, my ego, and my idea of self-importance were also insignificant and an illusion. Here I was, amidst thousands of strangers at a party on a beach at 2 in the morning. My worries about finances, Twitter followers, or my next business move instantly became trivial.

When you go across the world and put yourself in a sea of thousands of people from around the world, you realize everyone is caught in their egos, caught in their heads, and caught in the illusion that their problems are so important.

The freeing realization is that they aren’t. 

Stepping Into My Fire

My first day in Koh Phangan, I met a girl at my hostel named Rosario. She liked yoga, dancing, and reading about esoteric wisdom, and so we quickly became friends. We got into a conversation revolving around astrology, kundalini, and how we were both fire signs. She even had a fire sign tattooed on her neck. This was the seed of me reflecting deeper on my own “fire” nature, as I’m a fire sun sign, a fire rising, and a fire type in Ayurveda.

One day I texted her that I’d been at a psytrance party dancing until 4am again, and she texted back saying, “Omg, so much fireeeee.” This prompted a deeper realization. I now understood why I liked fast psychedelic trance, rap, and electronic music, why I fell in love with hot yoga for the past year, why I was a better sprinter in track and field than a long-distance runner, why I preferred short creative bursts of work, and why I gravitated towards smoking weed and cigarettes at these raves and writing in the corner. It all was an extension of my fire energy.

For the next two weeks in Koh Phangan, I leaned hard into my fire energy. At times, maybe too far. Out of the 14 days I was there, I probably spent 8 of them at raves. I’d go dance until anywhere from 3am-7am, go to sleep, wake up at 1 or 2pm, hang out in cafes all day reading, writing, and creating, and repeat the cycle. 

This 2-week period was the same time I was also experiencing an immense surge of creative and Kundalini energy, with clarity, insights, and ideas popping into my head at what sometimes felt like an uncontrollable rate. At these raves, I would often smoke a cigarette, dance for 30 minutes, get a massive idea or insight, smoke another cigarette, and go back to the corner to write for 30 minutes. Over 50% of my tweets from June through September were written at a rave. I drafted the outline for Trust Yourself and the curriculum for Conscious Creators at 3 am on the dance floor. It was so much fun. I had so much energy. I felt so free. I was so in my fire.

I had the feeling of, “Wow, I can literally do whatever the fuck I want!”

Insights, Downloads, and Flow States

Throughout my career as a creator/ writer/ entrepreneur, most of my breakthrough ideas have come when I’m in a flow state during activities the “self-help” community would call degenerate.

I came up with the name, marketing strategy, and curriculum outline for my first cohort while listening to Naval’s How to Get Rich podcast and playing NBA2K at 1 am. Two years ago, I decided to leave college and go all in on the creator economy when I was smoking weed on a hike with my friend Matt in San Fransisco. Half of my tweets and newsletters this summer were written at 2 am in the corner of some nightclub after losing myself in music and dance for hours. Instead of renouncing these parts of myself (which always led to bouts of escapism and self-sabotage), I’ve decided to lean into what gives me energy and puts me into a state of flow. 

It’s no coincidence to me that out-of-the-box, creative breakthroughs come when I’ve stepped outside of the box, framework, or routine either myself or someone else put me into. Routine, structure, and discipline are great. But non-linear, creative leaps must happen outside of the linear domains of intense structure and control. 

There are no rules to creativity, productivity, or spirituality, despite what self-improvement hustle culture will tell you. There is only what works for you through experimentation, self-honesty, and self-reflection.

Stepping Too Far Into My Fire

Smoking cigarettes (or even hitting vapes) is only something I’ve dabbled with it on and off over the last year. This summer, as I took restrictions off of myself, I started smoking a lot, especially at these raves. There were periods of a few days or weeks where I’d stop and reconsider my relationship with the vice and question whether or not this was in integrity and alignment. But at the same time, I was simply having so much fun and allowing it to happen. 

I had the thought while I was sitting at a cafe and smoking a spliff that I felt like Ernest Hemmingway. I tried a fancy tobacco pipe from a dude from Dubai and it was so smooth. felt like I understood why Alan Watts hit a pipe frequently. The nicotine keeps you sharp, alert, and keep the neurons in your brain “firing.” 

Is it something I’ll continue with? I don’t know. I’m reaching a point where it feel I can have the nicotine, the joint, the coffee, the beer, the pizza, the video game, or the party, and not feel like it’s controlling me. It’s an expression of enjoying the full range of the human experience. However, if it becomes a crutch and a cope, then it’s something worth exploring deeper.

Understanding My Fire

Now, having added experience to my theoretical understanding that my Sun and my Rising are both fire signs (Leo and Sagittarius) and knowing my Ayurvedic Dosha is Pitta (another fire sign), I understand myself on a new level. My fire is not something to run away from. Rather, it is something to lean into, as it is my true nature. However, I have also learned that I have to monitor my fire wisely and counterbalance it with cooling mechanisms.

If I smoke too many cigarettes, hit too much nicotine, have too many projects in motion, drink too much coffee, listen to too much psytrance music, have too many open loops, or eat too much hot food, I overheat, and the excitable fire turns into anxious energy, my digestion goes to shit (literally), and my mind runs out of control.

When I counterbalance this fire with cold plunges, ice coffees, acai bowls, fruit smoothies, cold seafood, getting in the shade and air conditioning, meditating, and laying down in front of fans, I bring myself back into harmony and balance. When I’m connected to my body and being honest with myself, navigating this balance is easy.

Badulina

Another key thing that expanded my levels of internal freedom this summer was reading the book Badulina, recommended to me by my friend Milana from Israel.

Badulina is popular in Israeli culture but isn’t well known around the rest of the world. The book is about a metaphorical King and Queen, not in the royal monarchy sense, but as archetypes for the empowered King and Queen energies within each of us. My broad takeaway was that this is a book about enlightenment, but in modern, digestible terms.

The King is portrayed as the living embodiment of self-confidence, assertiveness, generative power, integrated masculinity, non-attachment, and complete trust in God. He knows what he wants, does exactly what he wants in each moment, and never second-guesses himself, not even for a second. He wastes no time or energy trying to impress people or prove himself to anyone. That is what makes him a King.

“I am never afraid and never lack confidence, not even for a second, and as far as I’m concerned, the entire world is a birthday present given to me to enrich and enhance my life until the day I die.” ~ The King in Badulina

The queen is portrayed as the living embodiment of complete self-trust, surrender, and being one with life and the flow of the universe. She too, never seeks to please anyone, never worries about how she looks, and floats through life as a majestic fairy, without worry and without fear. She is the walking embodiment of divine love.

Living in the King and Queen Energies

As I read this book, I realized I had yet to fully step into my King energy. I still people pleased. I still cared what people thought about me. I didn’t want people to dislike me. 

I would hang out with people or stay at parties for too long out of fear of judgment for leaving to do my own thing. I wouldn’t speak the truth of how I saw something in conversations where I thought people may not agree with me. I’d second guess myself whether I really wanted to write or read alone in a cafe or whether I wanted to hang out around people.

As I was reading this book, I began to ask myself, “Am I truly doing what I want in this moment?” And when the answer was no, I would go act on my intuition and move onto whatever felt most aligned with my heart and highest self.

When I returned from the South to Pai a few weeks later, I was a different man. I stopped hanging out in the lobby of the hostel where I volunteered, having surface-level conversations I didn’t really want to have. I stopped meeting people’s expectations that I should come to this event or this party, and I stopped caring about whether or not people took it the wrong way. That was on them. Not me.

From this point, I feel I’ve really stepped into my assertive King energy. I’m doing what I want in each moment. I’ve internalized that I have no obligations to anyone, and they have no obligations to me. In business, I set the frame of the conversation, build the projects I want, and trust the right people will magnetize toward me without overextending and chasing. In relationships, I’m present and open-hearted. But I’m not going to events I don’t want to go to, responding to texts I don’t want to or hopping on calls I don’t want to. And let me tell you, it feels empowering.

I’ve also stepped into my queen energy (masculine and feminine energies exist within all of us). I’m able to put up stronger boundaries for my time and energy, the embodiment of the dark feminine/ assertive queen energy. I’m tapped into the flow of life and surrendered to God, love, and the universe. And I actually have internalized a new level of acceptance and confidence in my beauty, as strange as that may sound on the surface.

One line from Badulina about the queen sent me back in my chair and prompted a noticeable “sheesh” sound to come out of my mouth:

"The queen dances in the center of the floor, without a single glance in the mirror."

As I would go to these raves or parties alone, this line occupied my mind. Every time I looked in the mirror (via another person or an actual mirror), I’d ask myself why. Was I looking for validation? Trying to see if someone liked me? Wondering if I looked cool? Or was I actually incredibly present, open-hearted, and wanted to connect with others around me?

I would have never found this book had I not gone traveling across the world. By immersing myself in an environment where I was exposed to people from different cultures, I was able to learn tons about people and the world and have my eyes opened to new philosophies, new ways of thinking, and new books. I would have never found this book, which had such a profound impact on how I view myself and the world, had I not met Milana and dozens of other incredible Israeli people.

The Shabbat Dinner

I’ve written previously about how I developed a very strong connection with the Israeli people over my time traveling Thailand. I felt connected to the people and the culture on a deeper level, something I can’t quite precisely articulate. The best way to describe this connection is that I felt like I’d known these people my entire life and connected with them on an emotional/ spiritual level despite the barriers in language.

In Koh Phangan, my friend Milana invited me to a Shabbat dinner. The Shabbat dinner is a weekly dinner every Friday in Jewish culture to celebrate the beginning of the Shabbat, a period of disconnection from technology, electricity, and work, and a chance to rest, recharge, and strengthen one’s connection with family and friends, the Jewish culture, and God.

At this dinner, I believe I was the only non-Hebrew/ Israeli person out of 200 people in attendance. Most conversations were in Hebrew. All the speeches were in Hebrew. I didn’t understand anything that was said except in direct one-on-one conversations, but it was the way people interacted and the way the male leaders spoke that touched me. 

The male leaders spoke with courage, strength, and love. They spoke with passion about the current state of Israel and with compassion for their fallen brothers and sisters who died in the war. Everyone there knew someone, a family member, a brother, a sister, a friend, a cousin, or a mutual connection who died in combat at somewhere around 23 years old. I’m 23 years old. And these people, no different in their nature than you and I, must go fight in the army at 19 years old and can be called back to serve until they’re 28 (I believe). 

Think about that for a second. Here we are, ignorant Westerners, stressed about how many likes our tweet got, what our next cohort launch is, and our career trajectories, while these kids, yes, kids, are in the middle of combat, tasked to kill other human beings.

My friend Milana told me about the time she had to run for her life because of a missile strike. And we’re concerned about the fucking creator economy? The fucking creator economy? Are we serious?  I hope this provides you with a glimpse of perspective on what a blessing it is to be alive, in a safe place, reading this from the comfort of your home, office, or coffee shop. We have it so much better than we realize. No better how many likes your fucking tweet got.

I am typically a pretty emotionally reserved and stoic guy. But as I write this, tears are flowing from my eyes, passion is flowing through my veins, and love is filling my heart for these people I was blessed to share their sacred dinner with and hear their stories. You can probably feel it too. 

I’ve only found out in hindsight via a 23&me ancestry test that my predominant ethnicity, 26.1%, is Ashkenazi Jewish. I’ve never identified as Jewish and grew up in a Christian home, but I knew I had Jewish heritage from my grandfather. Finding out just how much Jewish is in my blood made this connection to the Israeli people click on a deeper level.

The Psychic Slip

Two weeks before I traveled south, I was at a cafe with my friend Marla, the girl who facilitated my Kundalini activation. Her soul and consciousness are very open, and so she has the ability to channel insights and energy from different planes, hence why she is able to help her clients channel Kundalini energy (because she is a clear enough channel herself).

As we were chatting at this cafe with two other girls, I was speaking, and she had a psychic slip. She saw me, not from her normal vision, but from her mind’s eye, 10 years in the future, as a 33-year-old man instead of a 23-year-old. She had to pause and step back because these moments can be quite jarring and overwhelming. She described me as being very powerful but also very generous. I thought it was cool and sounded like the man I aspire to be, but in some ways, I dismissed the moment as normal. “That’s just Marla,” I thought. These things happen to her all the time. But two weeks later, it happened to me.

My first or second day in Koh Phangan, I was swimming in the ocean with my friend Milana. I noticed I felt very at peace and very present. I looked over the landscape at the trees and the beach and noticed I saw extremely clearly, similar to how you notice nature and colors “pop” when you take mushrooms or acid. But in that moment, I was completely sober.

As I looked at Milana, from this place of enhanced presence and clear-sightedness, I saw a red braid running through the right side of her hair. But I didn’t see it in the normal way of seeing. I was seeing this through my mind’s eye, my third eye, one step higher than normal sight.

“Have you ever thought about getting a red braid in your hair?” I asked.

“Oh, like right here?” She replied, pointing to the right side of her head.

“Yes.” I affirmed.

What she said next blew my mind.

“I used to have a red braid in my hair in this spot when I was 13.”

I was shocked. Something in my consciousness allowed me to “see” her as a 13-year-old girl, 10 years in the past, but only in my mind’s eye. I’d never experienced a psychic moment or spiritual sight in my life up to that point. But it happened in that moment, without effort or conscious intention, from what I can only see in hindsight as a consequence of my presence and alignment in that moment.

Nothing like this has happened since. But the moment opened my eyes (literally) to the fact there are different planes of consciousness present at all moments, and we can access these moments if we get clear enough internally. It also affirmed for me that psychics, mediums, channels, and third-eye vision were not just woo-woo nonsense. In a way, they were more real than real. Now, I had a personal experience to verify this. I’m excited to see if and when this manifests again.

Returning to Pai

Before going home to Chicago, I wanted to go back north to Pai to see my friends and stay in a hotel at the corner of downtown I’d noticed before leaving looked aesthetically pleasing and artistically inspiring. The hotel was called “Hotel de’ Artists.” The environment and ambiance made it easy to feel creative and inspired. I intuitively understood why Mark Twain and Nikola Tesla spent much of their lives in hotels. There was something about the vibe and aesthetic that enhanced inspiration and creativity.

My routine over these two weeks was more of an anti-routine. I’d stay up until the wee hours of the morning creating, wake up around 1 or 2pm, go to the cafe outside the hotel, and create from the moment I woke until the moment I slept (which wasn’t much). My energy was near infinite. I’d get 3 hours of sleep and not feel tired. I was tapped into the flow of life and aligned with my highest self and God on a level I’d never experienced before. Clarity emerged on Conscious Creators and tangential projects from this internal alignment and connection to God, and so I was tapping into an energy source beyond the scope of Jack Moses. I was channeling the energy of the collective Universe.

I was a different man than the boy who arrived in Pai two months prior. I’d transitioned from the kid volunteering at the hostel to the man building his life’s work. I walked by my old boss, the owner of the hotel, at the Saturday market, and he reflected to me, “There’s something different about you.” I’d stepped into my power and purpose. Above all, I was tapped into God. The internal state radiated outward, and his reflection confirmed it.

In these last two weeks in Pai, the activities I participated in and the people I hung around changed because I was changed. I let people’s expectations down. I didn’t go to things I didn’t want to. It was a great test of my personal freedom and commitment to my purpose and new state of being to be okay with letting people down. I made this YouTube video in the midst of experiencing this transition.

But even though I was now spending the majority of my time building and creating again, I still enjoyed the last few weeks there. I lifted weights with my friends Ethan and Peleg. I got coffee and talked philosophy with my friends Summer and Marla. I went to a men’s circle run by my friend Jack. I went to parties, smoked weed, and danced with all the people I became close with in Pai.

No Force, Just Creation

In Pai, I got what looked like 3 months of work done in 2 weeks. But I didn’t “work” for a minute.

Many nights, I would accidentally stay up until 8 am building Conscious Creators, redesigning my personal website, or writing. When I say, accidentally, I mean it. I’d be so immersed in a flow state and psytrance music, I’d lose all concept of linear time. I had the sensation my body was moving by itself. On an intuitive level, my fingers would move to the computer to the right tab, my hands to the right key on the keyboard, and my body to the right place in the room. There was no force or mentalization. Just flow and creation.

People in Pai would ask me, “What are you going to do today?" I would say I have no idea. Everything was simply happening.  Reading, writing, "networking," building projects, and making moves were all just happening on their own, without “me” doing anything.

In these two weeks, I was more tapped into the flow of life and channeling creative energy than I’d ever experienced before. The Kundalini energy in my root chakra was constantly engaged. I’d be in my room at 3 am writing or designing a new module, and my root area was pulsating or activating. If I hesitated to post a tweet or create a module that intuitively I felt was right, but worried about external judgment, I’d have the sensation that I was not “penetrating reality” (ie. David Deida) with the fullness of my creative firepower and King energy. I know how strange all of this sounds. But this is the truth of my experience.

It’s All A Dance

One night, I wandered out of my hotel at around 11:30 pm to go to Ganesh, the psytrance bar at the end of the street, to meet friends and dance.

On my way back at around 1 am, I picked up a pre-roll Sativa joint from a shop outside my hotel. I threw in my AirPods, put on a music set from one of my favorite DJs, and stayed outside my hotel on the street, dancing in the rain.

As usual, insights and ideas flowed as I immersed myself in the flow of the movement and the frequency of electronic music. A new module for my private school, Transcendence, appeared in my consciousness: “The School of Magic.” This course would be extremely esoteric, high-level teachings on quantum physics, the nature of reality, and enlightenment synthesized through the frame of wealth creation and abundance manifestation. 

I noticed myself wanting to be in conflict. I wanted to dance. But I also wanted to write down all the ideas I had for this new course. I felt the programming in me wanting to battle or choose between these two expressions of being. But then, another insight clicked. 

It was all a dance.

This moment, and life as a whole, was a dance between writing and dancing, doing and non-doing, initiating and receiving, acting but trusting, moving but surrendering.

I danced between the states of dancing and writing, and the duality collapsed into one. I moved beyond self-conflict. I was totally immersed in the flow of life and the present moment. I felt more tapped into God than I’d ever felt before in my life.

It’s hard to articulate this state of Oneness. In a way, it cannot be put into words. It exists beyond the mind. It was pure ecstasy. Joy. Bliss. 540 and above on the Hawkins Scale. In a way, “I” was not there. In this state of openness and oneness, ideas could easily channel through the vessel that is my mind. 

And here’s the strangest part. I felt myself shapeshift into the internal state of my current mentor - Nicole Ortega. She was dancing through all of her life. Never forcing, only flowing. Beyond self-conflict. Letting Spirit move her instead of her mind. Fully trusting the universe. One with the All, an expression of the Field of Consciousness.

 I felt I morphed into her consciousness for a split second and fully understood her. It was almost another “psychic slip” that I mentioned earlier with Milana, but this time Nicole was not present. At this time, I’d never even met or spoken to her. I’d only watched some of her videos and signed up for her coaching call, which was happening a few days from them. But in that moment, I knew her, and knew intuively knew exactly how she felt. Again, this is hard to articulate, and I imagine it is hard for you as the reader to believe. But trust I am writing from truth - the truth of my experience.

Leaving Pai and Returning Home

Leaving Pai and Thailand was both sad and exciting. Pai had taught me so much. I had a lifetime’s worth of beautiful connections, incredible friendships, and life-altering experiences in the two months I was there. I will never forget that little town nested in a valley in the northern mountains of Thailand. 

I have a strong sense I will be back. I want to DJ at that psytrance bar Ganesh when I’m back. I want to live in the Hotel de’ Artists again. I want to throw a Consciousness Economy Festival at a beautiful space called Dreamscape in the next few years. I want to see my friends Peleg, Marla, Jack, Summer, and everyone else again. I have faith it will happen it’s meant to.

But for now, it’s time to continue on my adventure.

Thank You For Reading

Writing this Asia Adventures series has been one of the most fun and intrinsically motivating projects I’ve undertaken. I think I’ll turn these five editions into a mini-book after the recap blog is written and published.

Be on the lookout for Asia Adventures #5 - The Summer of Antifragility, in the next few weeks. You can sign up here to receive it in your inbox.

Until then, have a great weekend and rest of your weekend, and we’ll be in touch soon.

Much love,

Jack

jackmoses.co

If you want to read the entire story of my adventures this summer - clink this link to read edition #5.